Confetti

Confetti Bride of the Year 2010

Irish brides-to-be have lots of questions and little time.

You have the final say on lots but that doesn't mean you have to go it alone.
We went to those in the know to bring you practical advice to help you make your decisions.

Search the Expert Answers From the Categories Below

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We'll talk to the best and get you an answer!

Q: Is it okay not to invite children to my wedding ceremony/reception?

A: Not inviting children could dramatically reduce your guest numbers. Some parents will not take kindly to their little ones being excluded, others will jump for joy at the prospect of a day or night without them. Ultimately, the decision rests with the hosts.

To ensure that nobody’s toes get stepped on, address the envelopes of your wedding invitations to the parents (e.g. “Mr and Mrs Byrne” and not “The Byrne Family”). Let family and friends know that it’s a ‘grown-up event’ and ask them to pass it on to other guests. If guests are coming from out of town with kids in tow, help them find a babysitter that can come to the hotel. The parents or you can post the job on www.babysitter.ie. Once you make up your mind, there’s no going back so be prepared to stand your ground.

Q: How much time in advance do we need to book the church/registry office?

A: Couples must give at least three months notice to the Registrar of intention to marry. This is a legal requirement and must be done even if you are having a religious wedding. To do this, make an appointment with your registrar as soon as possible.

Churches are now being booked further in advance so put it at the top of your to-do list. Most couples aim for a date 12-18 months after they get engaged. Normally, churches keep a five-year diary to book weddings and are scheduled on a first-come first-serve basis.

As of November 2007, couples may have a religious ceremony in a fixed structure (re: no open-air) at a public venue that is seemly and dignified for the solemnization of marraige. The venue must have no connection with any religion or religious practice. Couples must go through their local registrar to have the venue approved and an HSE official must inspect it before the wedding can take place. This means hotels, castles, country houses and even Croke Park are all fair game for your ceremony. Just be sure to book early to avoid disappointment!

For more information, visit www.groireland.ie/getting_married.htm

Q: What are our alternatives to a church wedding?

A: The registrar's office is always a popular choice for couples who don't want a church wedding. In 2005, 4,762 civil marriages took place. Couples intending to be married in the registrar's office by licence or certificate must personally serve notice on the Registrar of Marriages of the district in which they live and in whose district the marriage will be solemnised. Where the couple live in different registration districts, they must serve notice on the registrar of each district.

Real Wedding couple Sarah and Oscar Lai made their marriage official in a registry office then had a humanist ceremony with friends and family in the forest of Portlick Castle in Westmeath.

Either way, couples must notify their registrar at least three months before the wedding of their intention to marry.

Q: Who walks up the aisle first -the bride or the bridesmaids?

A: Grandmothers of the bride and groom escorted to their seats by groomsmen.

Mother of the groom is escorted to her seat.

Mother of the bride is escorted to her seat. It’s important to note the mother of the bride is always seated last. Once she is seated, the wedding is to begin.

Ushers may either walk down the aisle next, alone or escort the bridesmaids, and take their places in front.

The bridesmaids may either follow after or be escorted by the ushers down the aisle.

The maids of honour follow the bridesmaids and takes their places next to where the bride will stand.

The ring bearer will follow the maid of honour.

The flower girls will follow next.

Finally, the bride, escorted by parent or other special person will walk down the aisle.

Q: In what order should the bridal party arrive at the church?

A: Traditionally, the wedding party and the guests arrive before the bride, or she stays in the car to keep the wow factor for when she walks down the aisle. It's nice when the ushers are at the church to be on hand for the guests.

If you don't mind breaking with tradition and don't care about the wow factor, it's a great idea for the entire bridal party to arrive at the church before the ceremony for photos. This appeals to a lot of couples because it means you do not have to leave your guests for the rest of the day.

Q: Is it okay to write your own vows? If so, where do I start?

A: It's becoming more and more common for couples to include personal touches in their ceremony. If you are interested in writing your own vows, the first step is to ask your officiant if this is acceptable. More often than not, you'll get clearance.

Discuss with your fiancé whether you want to show each other your vows before the big day or you want it to be a surprise. Write down what comes off the top of your head and go from there. Stuck for ideas? Think about what you were like before you met your man. Was there a moment when you noticed him or started seeing him in a different light? What changed when you started dating? What would have happened if you didn't? How do you feel when he's not with you?

When you have something written down, check that it reflects who you are and your idea of marriage in a concise manner. Time yourself to make sure you don't exceed a minute and a half. Short and sweet is the key to success.